Opinion: Royal Flush

POSTED: 09/6/12 11:43 AM

A royal flush is every poker player’s wet dream. It is the best hand in Texas Hold’em games – the ace, king, queen, jack and ten of the same suit: hearts, clubs, diamonds or spades. If no limit Texas Hold’em is the Cadillac of poker, the royal flush is the Rolls Royce of poker hands.
A poker player will hit a royal flush on average approximately once in every 650,000 hands. Internet players play two to three times more hands per hour than players in a brick and mortar casino, where 25 to 30 hands an hour is more or less standard – though lower with less experienced dealers.
At that frequency a brick and mortar poker player would have to play between and 21,666 and 26,000 hours of poker before ever staring down at this premium hand. That would even take players who spend 6 hours a day, 7 days a week playing poker in a casino between 515 and 619 weeks (9.9 to 11.9 years) to get there. Internet players would get there in half or one third of that time.
Given these numbers the uniqueness of the royal flush is well established and poker players with at least some common sense never make that hand part of their overall strategy, because it does not make any sense.
But the uniqueness of the royal flush has now entered new territory. We saw an advertisement yesterday for a product called Royal Flush. It comes in a neat plastic bottle (in as far as plastic bottles can be neat, of course) and consists of 30 capsules if we read the label correctly. It is, or so we gather, a natural product. What it does? Well, it is advertised as a bowel stimulant.
What a brilliant idea! The guy who came up with the name must be a poker player, we thought. And from the description bowel stimulant we understand that users don’t have to wait 26,000 hours for it to take effect. Of course, you don’t want to take this stuff in the middle of a poker session.

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