Opinion: Home remedies

POSTED: 06/13/11 1:11 PM

Our friend Mickey, who resides in Bakersfield, California, has a talent for finding the most amazing stuff on the internet. Time and again he amazes us with the weird and the hilarious, though we have to admit that sometimes the jokes are really stupid. Maybe his appetite for humor is driven by the fact that he lives in Bakersfield – practically the last town James Dean ever came through before he sped to his death in his Porsche 550 Spyder on his way to a race in Salinas on September 30, 1955. Who knows?

Here is a list of simple home remedies Mickey sent us this weekend. Careful: laughing out loud while reading tip number two in the presence of your spouse seems like an extremely bad, if not dangerous, idea.

  1. Avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you chop.
  2. Avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.
  3. For high blood pressure sufferers ~ simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. Remember to use a timer.
  4. A mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
  5. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. Then you’ll be afraid to cough.
  6. You only need two tools in life – WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn’t move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn’t move and does, use the duct tape.
  7. If you can’t fix it with a hammer, you’ve got an electrical problem.

Daily thought: Some people are like slinkies – not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.

Thanks Mickey. You really made our day.

 

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