Letter: Unpaid Advice to Domino’s Gijs

POSTED: 02/7/12 4:08 PM

Dear Editor,

For a very long time I have a vague but strong feeling that I am missing something in my life. Love?  No, I love my wife, my children and my friends. Money? No, I have a good pension and I have no rent to pay. Am I sick? No, I walk my dogs twice a day and dance at La Bamba the salsa with miss Fitness Winkels the whole night.

So I was really wondering why I had that feeling I missed something very important. One day I found out what I was missing so desperately. Whenever me and my wife do not want to cook, we go to The Golden Apple or Domino’s Pizza. I went to Domino’s Pizza, managed by my friend Gijs, a poor table tennis player but a successful manager. Waiting for my turn, I read a very interesting text on a flyer: “Are you being undercheesed?”  Reading this beautiful, philosophical text, I vaguely understood it had to do with my missing something in life. I read the rest of the advertisement: “Tired of not getting your fair share of cheese? With Domino’s new stuffed cheesy bread (inside and out) we are putting an end to the undercheesing of the world once and for all.” May be this was what I missed in my happy life. I bought a cheesy bread, ate it and the feeling that I missed something in my life had disappeared. A completely happy man was born. Thank you Gijs!

The problem, however, is that I have become addicted to cheesy bread. I am gaining weight and already I am afraid that in a while I will not be undercheesed, but overweight. So here is my unpaid advice to Gijs:

1 Do not put too much cheese in your cheesy bread.

2 For the elderly (60 and older) have one day per week a “three for the price of one pizza”.

Gerard Bijnsdorp,

Three pieces of advice for the price of one

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